The Laws of Valentine's Day

1. Russell Stover heart-shaped boxes of chocolate must be distributed to one's significant other each and every year.

2. Buying your wife a new set of snow tires and calling them her Valentine's Day gift is strictly prohibited.

3. Handing one's wife a wad of cash at the end of the day and passing it off as a gift will buy you nothing but grief.

4. Avoid buying flowers from the super market, as they often expire before you reach your car in the parking lot.

5. Do not try to convince your significant other that celebrating Valentine's Day on February 15 is just as good, knowing full well that all candy is now 50 percent off.

6. If you have been married over 5 years, don't bother with stuffed animals.

7. If you live with your significant other, there is no reason to post "Happy Valentines Day" on their Facebook wall. (Unless, of course, you are in the dog house for some other relationship infraction.)

8. If married for over 10 years, a Valentine's Day "high five" is a perfectly acceptable form of affection.

9. If you are a newlywed, make sure that the gifts for your spouse and one's mother do not get mixed up.

10. When all else fails, one can never go wrong with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

Marty Carbone, Carbone & Carbone LLP, Attorneys at Law

www.carbonelawyer.com